Lois Brings Out the Big Guns
by moonchaser03
Summary: Lois is convinced that Oliver is hiding something from Chloe and no one messes with her Baby Cuz!
1. Chapter 1

"Do we have to talk about this?" Chloe groaned tiredly.

"Yes, we do Chlo! How else am I supposed to know if I need to kick some green leather ass?" Lois snapped as she paced along the sofas edge.

They had been having the same conversation for the last- Chloe glanced down at her watch- _hour and twenty-three minutes_ she moaned internally.

"_There go my plans for the afternoon_._" _she thought while throwing a scowl Lois' way. "…and I'm telling you he's up to something." Lois said as she glared at a stubborn Chloe. "Don't you care that your man is acting weird…well weirder than normal?"

Chloe sank deeper into the sofas cushions while her hands rubbed her temples attempting to stave off the oncoming headache. "Ollie is not weird. He's a busy man. He runs Queen Industries and he patrols the city stopping crime at night." she said with an exasperated sigh.

Lois rolled her eyes at her Cuz.

She was about to ask if he liked to play 'green leather vigilante and robbers' at night too when she thought better of it. Last time she mentioned her _genius_ theory about Oliver getting off on wearing the outfit to bed Chloe had glared at her and proceeded to throw her out of the apartment. She suspected Oliver wasn't the only one who got off on him playing Green Arrow during their sexy-times.

"_Wow that came out of left field but I'm gonna have to be stealthy and sneak a question about a possible leather fetish next time. Yeah, definitely next time."_

"Yeah yeah I know but he always managed to find time for the both of you to spend time together. You said so yourself, he's been distant and jumpy lately plus add in all those mysterious calls he keeps receiving...Doesn't that seem suspicious?"

"I don't know Lois. Except for his behavior this last week everything else has been normal."

"I don't know either Cuz that's why we need to investigate this…Chlo-Lo Style!" she grinned mischievously.

"And if there is something going on I'm gonna drop-kick his rich ass! Then I'm gonna tell Smallville and the rest of your Super Dude Crew so they can get a piece of the action. No one messes with my Baby Cuz!" she said with a steely look in her eyes and smirk on her lips.

Chloe's lips twitched and she finally gave up trying to reason with her obviously insane cousin.

"Fine."

"Yes!" Lois cheered. "Now I just need to get our supplies." She grinned widely.

"Supplies?" Chloe asked with a puzzled look.

"Yeah supplies. Night vision goggles, listening devices, you know the whole nine yards. Get your head in the game Baby Cuz!"

"Lois we have everything needed for a covert operation here." Chloe said as if she was talking to a child.

"No offense Cuz but all that stuff has been tainted with Queen Germs." Chloe made a disgruntled sound and glared at her cousin. With her hands held out in a 'my bad' pose Lois explained that one of the perks of being a generals daughter was getting all the fun "party favors" the Army had to offer.

"I've been preparing for a situation like this one since I was fourteen and started stockpiling my goodies." she admitted with a satisfied look.

As Lois walked away Chloe heard her grumbling about whether or not she should "pull out the big guns". Chloe hoped to God or anyone else listening out there, that for Oliver's sake Lois didn't mean _real_ guns. If she _did_ then Chloe was sure she would find an excuse to brandish them and scare Oliver half to death whether he deserved it or not.

From outside the apartment where he had been standing for the last twelve minutes Clark grimaced as if in pain. Lois was crazy and he knew it. She would absolutely bring out guns! _Big_ guns! He super sped to Oliver's office. He needed to tell him that he better move his surprise up to soon. Really soon. If he didn't he might not survive long enough to propose and all his plans and secrecy would be wasted.

As Clark arrived at Oliver's office he urgently called out, "Oliver we need to talk…"


	2. Chapter 2

**I hope everyone enjoys this chapter!**

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"Clark what are you doing here? What do you mean we need to talk, is everything okay? " Oliver asked with an anxious look on his face.

"No Oliver nothing is okay. If we don't find a way to fix this you're going to die, Lois is going to jail, Chloe is going to be REALLY angry, and I'm going to go _insane_! I cannot go insane Oliver! Metropolis _needs_ me!" He practically shouted while pacing furiously in front of Oliver's desk.

"Take a deep breath Clark and start from the beginning. I have no idea what you're talking about…and what did you mean I'm going to _die_?"

Clark explained everything he heard emphasizing the fact that Lois was _crazy_ and was talking about guns, _big _guns. After he made Oliver aware of Lois' trigger happy mood and the fact that she was out to get him he was surprised by Oliver's question.

"Why would she want to spy on me and then shoot me?"

Clark took a second to consider Oliver's question. Truth be told, he didn't stop to think about the _why_ considering the mastermind behind the scheme was Lois. She's _Lois_. She doesn't need an excuse to pull ridiculous stunts like spying and the occasional maiming of the innocent. He told Oliver just that.

"She's _Lois_ Oliver. Does she really need an excuse?"

"If you had said Lois was doing this solo then my answer would be no, but you said she pulled Chloe into this. Chloe doesn't do anything without a goal to motivate her."

"Like I said I don't know the _why_ but Lois is no quitter. Whatever her reasons might be you may want to move your surprise up or you risk the chance of possible maiming/death beforehand."

"Damn it this changes everything! Thanks for the heads up Boy Scout I need to make a few calls." Oliver immediately began typing feverishly on his laptop while simultaneously making a call on his phone.

"Yes hello! This is Oliver Queen I need to reschedule that shipment of tulips..."

As Clark made his way out of Oliver's office he hoped everything would work out. He sure as hell wasn't going to get involved; Lois was _crazy_.

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"We need codenames. Cool codenames. None of that girly crap either."

Chloe had been listening to Lois ramble about codenames since she came back from securing their "non-Queen" infested supplies.

"Are you listening to me Chloe? You do realize having kick-ass codenames practically ensures our success. Not that a pretty boy like _Oliver _could escape from the epic awesomeness that is Team Sullivan-Lane." Lois huffed out with self-assurance.

Chloe once again tuned her obviously deranged cousin out.

"…but we will probably need a badass theme song too! Like Mission Impossible but more awesome…"

Chloe rolled her eyes and decided that the faster they picked out codenames the faster Lois' scheme of spying on Oliver would end and her life could go back to normal.

"You do remember that I'm a part of a league of heroes don't you? Part of being a member means having a codename." When Lois simply looked at her quizzically Chloe simply said "Watchtower. My codename is Watchtower."

Lois suddenly imagined Chloe introducing herself like James Bond. _"My name is Tower. Watchtower. I'm a communications coordinator that saves the world…and the occasional meteor-infected person from evil experimentation."_

"What's so funny Lois?"

"Nothing, nothing." Lois attempted to stop her loud guffaws and cleared her throat. "Ahem any way you can't use that name because-"

"Don't tell me. The name Watchtower has Queen Germs doesn't it?"

"Why yes Chloe, yes it does."

Chloe slapped her palm to her face and gave a weary sigh. "So what kind of codename did you have in mind?"

"Well I was thinking…"

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After having rejected eight of Lois' horrendous suggestions (Chloe didn't care what the hell Lois called herself but she was not going to be referred to as Ruby or Lilith_ "Come on Chlo you can totally pull off blonde demonic bitchdom!"_) they had finally agreed on Chloe's codename.

"_Come in Scully. I repeat come in Scully, over."_

Yeah it's from the X-Files. When Chloe was a kid the X-Files was her crack.

She doesn't care what her dad said: the truth is out there. Clark was proof of that.

"I'm right next to you Lois."

"_Don't ruin this for me Scully. I repeat do not ruin this for me, and the name is Sirius. Over and out."_

Lois decided that any spies worth their salt would have walkie talkies.

Chloe refused to use her walkie talkie when Lois was less than a foot away.

Lois also decided her codename would be Sirius as in Black as in Harry motherfuckin' Potter.

As Lois so eloquently stated _"Sirius Black was a BAMF who escaped Azkaban! Azkaban Chloe! They have dementors there that suck your _soul!_"_

Yeah he also got blasted into the Veil o' Death.

Chloe sighed. She had been doing a lot of that today she idly noted. At least Lois didn't go with her original idea of calling herself Jose Cuervo.

"_It's time to move out Scully. Operation: Pretty Boy Must Die! is a GO, over and out!"_

"I'm still right next to you Lois."

"…and you are not killing Oliver."

"_Whatever you say Scully, whatever you say, over."_

"I'm serious Lois!"

"…"

"LOIS!"

"_I make no promises…over."_

_

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	3. Chapter 3

I had a lot of fun writing this fic and I'm happy to see it come to a satisfying conclusion.

Disclaimer: I own nothing but my laptop.

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o0o

_"The target is on the move, I repeat the target is on the move, over."_

"Lo-"

"_Ahem."_

"Lois, I think it's time to bring this operation to a close. We've been watching Oliver for three days. Nothing is going on. He was having an off week. It's not illegal."

It was true. The only time Lois and Chloe hadn't been watching Oliver in the last seventy-two hours was when they slept -in shifts- and when either one of them or Oliver had to attend to life's more private matters.

"_No Scully, the absence of proof is not the proof of absence!"_

"Wow Lo where did you get that one, the back of a Dove bar?"

"…"

"You did, didn't you?"

"_Where I get my __**awesome**__ material doesn't matter or make it any less true."_

"No Loi-"

"_SIRIUS!"_

"No LOIS! I gave you three days to play spy and I'm done! "

"_But…"_

"But nothing. Oliver is a good man and he would never do anything to hurt me."

"I'm glad you think so." A new voice spoke from behind them.

Chloe and Lois both jumped in surprise and spun to see who had snuck up on them.

"Oliver!"

"Sweet baby Jesus Green Bean what the hell is your damage, you almost gave me a heart attack!" Lois yelled indignantly with her hands fisted on her hips.

"Considering that you both have been spying on me for the last three days I think it's safe to assume that my _damage_ is the least of your worries. And I did not almost give you a heart attack!"

"Yes you did!" she said obnoxiously.

"_And I would have haunted your green jolly rancher ass too._" She grumbled quietly as she crossed her arms across her chest and looked away with a pout on her lips.

Oliver ignored Lois' dramatics and turned to Chloe.

"So did you find anything interesting?" he asked with a smug smile.

Chloe looked up and gave him a smirk.

"Nope. You're even more boring than a normal person."

Lois snickered from behind him.

Oliver's smile disappeared. _Boring_? Boring his ass! Before he could protest and explain to Chloe just how exciting and spontaneous he was she asked him a question.

"How did you know we were watching you? For all the crap I gave Lois I still took this seriously, well as seriously as I could, and I made sure we took all the necessary precautions."

He looked sheepish for a moment.

"Well I may have gotten a heads up about your plan from our resident farm boy."

"Smallville? How the hell did SMALLVILLE know about my _genius_ plan?"

"Well-"

"That moron used his spidey-senses didn't he? I told him he wasn't allowed to use his powers around the apartment! There's no telling what he could see or hear. His ass is mine! When I find him I'm gonna shove a piece of kryptonite so far up…" The rest of her rant was drowned out by the noise of the city bellow as she walked further across the rooftop towards the fire escape.

Oliver and Chloe watched as Lois climbed onto the ladder probably planning the demise of one poor unfortunate farm boy as she went. When she was finally out of sight Oliver turned back to Chloe placing his hand on her cheek. She nuzzled her face into his hand and looked up at his face.

"I had a plan."

Chloe made to speak but he simply placed his finger to her lips.

"Please" he asked quietly.

She nodded.

"I was going to take you to that bed and breakfast where I gave you that ridiculous spoon as a present. I was going to reserve us the same suite with the queen sized bed and decorate it with dozens of tulips. I was even going to buy you another collectible spoon." They both laughed lightly at the thought. "I had such a wonderfully elaborate plan and you Sullivan-Lane girls ruined it, but this is even better."

"The where isn't important. The only thing that's important is telling you that I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life bringing you coffee in bed, and surprising you with kisses when I get home. I want to see you write your name out as Chloe A. Queen, and I want to have children with your eyes and smile. I want you forever so the sooner I can ask is all the better in my opinion." Oliver looked at Chloe and saw how her eyes widened in realization.

"Chloe will you marry me?"

Chloe looked up at Oliver's face and saw hope and love shining brightly from his warm brown eyes.

She took a breath and gave her answer on an airy sigh.

"_Yes_"

Oliver took out the ring and slipped it on her finger. He pulled her into his arms and brought his mouth to hers.

"I love you" he whispered on her lips softly.

o0o

"Lois what are you doing here?" Clark asked from his place on the sofa.

According to everyone it was coincidence that Clark came over to their apartment that day, and the fact that he heard Chloe and her arguing about Oliver was just a coincidence too.

It was at times like these that Lois was sure proved just how _genius_ her plans were.

"I heard you've been a naughty boy Smallville."

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